tooootally forgot this blog existed
my personal updates are…… well um nothing
Unusual Date Ideas (someone do some of these with me)
This is honestly the best post I’ve ever seen on Tumblr.
Milly on Saturday we’re doing 20 with memento.
For a while today, I hated you. I hated you for being so beautiful and real. I hated you for waking up at night to find your arms around me. I hated your honesty and the way you make people relax when you are around them. I hated you for loving me unconditionally. You have called me on years of cheap emotion and cruelty that came from my fears. When you look at me and smile I no longer feel scared or feel the need to run out of the room gasping for air. You don’t make me feel like life is a waste of time and that all you get is cold sweating, dark moments in small rooms all over the world, spending time with other desperate characters who are tearing the path across the night skies of desolation. Could you believe that I didn’t know what to do with your slow, warm affection? Could you believe I was scared by your endless giving giving giving? It took me a while to be able to feel welcomed by your strength that never shows off, never brags, but just nourishes and makes time stop. The feeling of hatred passed in the time it takes for an eye to twitch, and I realized that I have to take care of myself because I belong to someone. Someone is thinking of me right now. I never doubt it. I know you will always be there. Yeah, I’m in my room somewhere. It’s freezing outside and I am exhausted. Too many things to do. Too many people to answer to all the time. From here I think of you. My body is wracked in pain and I am burning with fever. A lot of men want a woman to mother them. They get with a woman and all they do is regress to the point where you might think he might not be capable to take care of himself at all. I don’t want another mother. I want a woman. I want to rise to the occasion. I want to learn and bask in your glow. I want to protect you and do whatever I can to give you strength. There is no twist to this. I am not about to blow my brains out. You have not cut me up like others have. It’s just this. I want to love you with everything in me. I need your help because I don’t know anything about it. I am suspicious and ready to leave and hit the cold road for the frozen dawn. I am just going to trust you with everything in me. I see now that it’s the only reason to be here. After kissing you, I cannot remember what it was like to kiss any other woman. At this point I am not sure if I ever have.
it’s only been a week, but i know that you are mine to keep.
goddd why am i suddenly in such an awful mood
it’s really annoying and getting me down urgh urgh urgh
Liking someone is supposed to be nice and lovely and enjoyable
why is it never those things for me
I never thought I’d die alone
Another six months I’ll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You’ll never step foot in my room again
All this time ive been thinking that what i want is a boyfriend
But i only think about the good aspects, like just having someone to like and have them feel the same way, and sharing interests and such. But theres all the other shit like having to see them all the time and making an effort and getting nervous and i think really what i want is a best friend who i can… Like? Dunno really. Just in my head i have something perfect that i want like when you have a new best friend and you do everything together and you gel perfectly. I’m bad with relationships i don’t know what they’re like so maybe what i’m describing is actually a relationship after all…
I think i’ve watched 500 Days of Summer too many times.
pretty certain i’m never going to meet anyone who likes me ever again. its been a fucking year.
replace ‘love’ with ‘like’. yep